Gingrich Offers Deficit Solution: Credit From Tiffany’s

Republican presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich says the solution to the nation’s credit problems is an account with Tiffany & Co.

Speaking before the Society for the Encouragement of Multiple Marriages, Gingrich explained that “we are at a point in our Nation’s history where we must turn back to our corporate roots for salvation. We have a massive national debt, including the $4.35 billion added under the Bush Administration, but we also have no need to increase personal or corporate taxes. The solution is not less debt, it’s better debt, and what could be better than an interest-free account with Tiffany’s?”

The solution is not less debt, it’s better debt, and what could be better than an interest-free account with Tiffany’s?

Gingrich — who has had a credit balance with the famous New York jeweler for as much as $500,000 — said that extensions of credit without interest were common for business leaders, celebrities and politicians.

“Look, not that it’s anyone’s business, but those who can afford interest don’t pay it,” said the former Speaker of the House. “Think about it this way: If you have bad credit you pay high interest, if you have good credit you pay low interest and if you’re among the national elite you pay no interest. What could possibly be more elite than our federal government?”

The book author and historian also explained that a zero tax rate was part of our national heritage.

“The Founding Fathers were plainly against income taxes. You can look throughout the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence as they were written by Washington, Jefferson and Reagan and you won’t find a word about the 16th Amendment.

“We have plainly corrupted our financial system,” said Gingrich. “The best resolution would simply be to tell China and the oil-producing states that our debt is canceled. That would save $6 trillion right there. What are they going to do? Seize Iowa? We should just explain that it’s an overdue currency adjustment, maybe get a telephone company to send them a bill. It would take years before they could decipher all the charges.”

“Alternatively,” said the presidential candidate, “if foreigners really wanted to trade $6 trillion for three million acres of Iowa real estate that could be a win-win for everyone, especially when they find out about the energy-efficiencies of ethanol. As to the rest, just put it on a tab with Tiffany’s.”

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